YOUR AWAKENING

A time comes in your life when you finally get it....

When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you
stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the the voice
inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.
And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum,
your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice,
you blink back your tears and through a mantle
of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through
new eyes.

This is your AWAKENING.

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting
for something to change or for happiness, safety and
security to come galloping over the next horizon.  You
come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince
Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the
real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or
beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of
"happily ever after" must begin with YOU and in the
process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and
that not everyone will always love, appreciate or
approve of who or what you are...and that is OK...
they are entitled to their own views and opinions.
And you learn the importance of loving and championing
yourself and in the process a sense of new found
confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the
things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you
learn that the only thing you can really count on is
the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean
or mean what they say and that not everyone will
always be there for you and that it's not always about
you.

So you learn to stand on your own  and to take care of
yourself and in the process a sense of safety &
security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to
accept people as they are and to overlook their
shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a
sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself and
the world around you, is a result of all the messages
and opinions that have been ingrained into your
psyche.

And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been
fed about how you should behave, how you should look
and how much you should weigh, what you should wear
and where you should shop and what you should drive,
how and where you should live and what you should do
for a living, who you should sleep with, who you
should marry and what you should expect of a marriage,
the importance of having and raising children or what
you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different
points of view.
And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are
and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing
and you begin to discard the doctrines and values
you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to
begin with and in the process you learn to go with
your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive.
And that there is power and glory in creating and
contributing and you stop maneuvering through life
merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and
integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era
but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon
which you build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything; it's not
your job to save the world and that you can't teach a
pig to sing.  You learn to distinguish between guilt
and responsibility and the importance of setting
boundaries and learning to say NO.

You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you
choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the
stake.

Then you learn about LOVE.  Romantic love and familial
love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to
stop giving and when to walk away.  You learn not to
project your needs or your feelings onto a
relationship.

You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more
intelligent, more lovable or important because of the
man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are
and not as you would have them be.  You stop trying to
control people, situations and outcomes.  You learn
that just as people grow and change so it is with
love...and you learn that you don't have the right to
demand love on your terms just to make you happy.

And you learn that alone does not mean lonely...
And that you look in the mirror and come to terms with
the fact that you will never be a size 2 or a perfect
10 and you stop trying to compete with the image
inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack
up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feeling
aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly
OK...and that it is your right to want things and to
ask for the things you want...and that sometimes it is
necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be
treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect
and you won't settle for less.  And, you allow only
the one who cherishes you to glorify you with his
touch...and in the process you internalize the meaning
of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple.
And you begin to care for it and treat it with
respect.  You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking
more water and taking more time to exercise.  You
learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can
create doubt and fear.  So you take more time to rest.

And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our
soul.  So you take more time to laugh and play.  You
learn, that for the most part, in life you get what
you believe you deserve...and that much of life is
truly a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth
working for and that wishing for something to happen
is different from working to make it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve
success you need direction, discipline and
perseverance.

You also learn that noone can do it all alone and that
it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is
the great robber baron of all time.  FEAR itself.
You learn to step right into and through your fears
because you know that whatever happens you can handle
it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to
live life on your terms.

And you learn to fight for your life and not to
squander it living under a rock of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't
always  get what you think you deserve and that
sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good
people.  On these occasions you learn not to
personalize things.

You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to
answer your prayers.  It's just life happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal
state - the EGO. You learn that negative feelings such
as anger, envy and resentment must be understood  and
redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you
and poison the universe that surrounds you.  You learn
to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges
instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many
of the simple things we take for granted, things that
millions of people upon the earth can only dream
about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a
soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself
by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never
betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than
your heart's desire.

And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you
can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to
keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to
every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by
your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath
and you begin to design the life you want to live as
best as you can.

~By Sonny Carroll~
Copyright © 1999 Sonny Carroll All Rights Reserved

used with permission
visit Sonny Carroll's wonderful site here

midi:  La Luna by Sarah Brightman